The photographic series, Delusional Identity: Self-portraits employs two separate photographs: a black and white photograph of a Hollywood starlet, which is an appropriated image and the second photograph is an original, color digital portrait of myself, which imparts a cohesive juncture that is seen throughout the series. It is through digital manipulation that I generate a new photograph that is similar to photomontage and based on the concept of delusion. Once the final photograph of the delusional persona is achieved, the first two images are not accessible to the viewer. I do not want these to be considered or compared to the finished image, because the final print is a unique artwork. Similarly, my usage of the original portraits is a necessary vehicle to achieve the final photograph. Whereby, the final singular photograph is the ultimate realization of my specific objective. My intent is to visually present unpredictable facial spaces and fragmentation to represent the reality of a delusional person. Causing the viewer to reconsider the genre of self-portraiture as well as the content of the photograph.
The formal  decision to appropriate a black and white Hollywood starlet photograph from the Internet is based on the art history of photographic appropriation. In post-modern artwork, appropriation is defined as the use of borrowed elements or components in the creation of a new work. Photographic appropriation and re-photography  (re) examines images in a context that differs from the original context, including issues of originality or to reveal another meaning not previously seen in the original photo. For example, Cindy Sherman, (1954 -) who in the late-1970’s produced, “Film Stills,” which were black and white photographs where the artist depicted herself as a posing, stereotypical, female B-movie actress. Sherman’s appropriation of identity as the model is a critique of destabilizing the traditional women-as-image and questions the codes of the gaze as photographic content. Historically, the woman as the subject in art was depicted from the male point of view as a sexual object. For example, the male artist gazes upon a female model and produces the results from the gaze, thus exhibiting a power over women. The superior gaze of the men reflects upon women as sexual objects, which is interpreted as degrading and furthers unequal relationships. But Sherman is simultaneously the artist and model and controls every aspect of the artwork produced. Similar to Sherman, my photographs are intended to provoke a viewer to negotiate the significance of content from a female perspective of the self-portrait. The self-portraits take ownership of the gaze and assert power to control the gaze and the imagery within the photograph. Traditionally, a portrait is the representation of an individual with two objectives: to present the subject accurately or to transform the subject. And within the portrait genre, the self-portrait provides the artist the greatest opportunity to express creative freedom without external constraints. The artist is forced to view themselves through their own understanding and confront psychological and self-awareness issues.
The decision to insert my digital color portrait relies on the proposition to visually imbed myself within the photographic composition. Korean artist, Nikki S. Lee (1970 -) uses photography to document her presumed identity. Lee begins a project by observing a chosen subculture or ethnic group where she assumes their identity, infiltrating the group and documenting the interactions among the members and herself. Lee is able to transition into the appropriate persona and is convincingly indistinguishable from the group. It is only through the photographs of her various projects, which are shown as a group that Lee’s identity is revealed. Lee’s projects question the validity of identity as well as how other people identify people. Lee states, “[…] essentially life itself is a performance. When we change our clothes to alter our appearance, the real act is the transformation of our way of expression--the outward expression of our psyche.” Like Lee, my color self-portrait is used in the photographic series to reveal my identity and since they are shown together, the consistency of my faint image support and define one another.  Also, like Lee, I have ultimately constructed my photographic identity and have chosen to convey this identity to others, which in turn leads a viewer to judge identity solely on outward appearances. In other word, when I prepared for the initial color portrait, I considered the make-up application, jewelry, skin tone and bare shoulders because all of these qualities would appear in the final delusional photo and pursued the view. For example, the specific style of make-up application on my eyebrows is not similar to most early Hollywood beauty standards and the “pencil thin” shape would not align correctly. This extreme difference in eyebrow shape would influence the viewer to question identity in relation to era or question how the image conforms to contemporary norms of society. 
Digital manipulation is employed to merge and superimpose the black and white photograph with the color photograph to create the final images that constitute the photographic series. Although I originally considered other mediums to produce this artwork, I ultimately decided that staying within a photography-based practice was the only medium to consider. Thus, digital manipulation was the method chosen because it produces images that are unattainable through conventional photographic methods and provide a range of options. Professional software with electronic versions of brushes, filters and enlargers makes manipulation possible. It further advances photographers into a new, contemporary realm known as the “Neographer.” I relegate myself as a neographer within the linear history of photography and as such have consciously modified images that bare little resemblance to the original images.  I also erase the original image files after the first print in order to present original artwork that cannot be endlessly reproduced. It is erroneously believed that all digital art is not fine art because of reproduction. This is why I have created this series of photographs with specificity in relation to traditional  fine art mediums. Hence, the work of art is inseparable from being imbedded in tradition. This tradition is currently extremely interchangeable with innovations transforming the conception of art. For example:
Our fine arts were developed, their types and uses were established, in times very different from the present, […] We must expect great innovations to transform the entire technique of the arts, thereby affecting artistic invention itself and perhaps even bringing about an amazing change in our very notion of art.
(Valery 225)
While digital manipulation is the innovative tool that helped me produced the photographic results, it is photomontage that they resemble and as such, photomontage must be addressed. Henry Peach Robinson, (1830 - 1901) an English artist is acknowledged as creating the first photomontages in 1857. He manipulated photos and watercolors to create his early photomontages, which was carried on by the Dada movement, propelling montage into a modern art form. The main component of photomontage is the collage-like appearance with multiple facets, combining realism with fantasy to create an invented reality. Artist, Hannah Hoch (1889 – 1978) produced photomontages from 1917 until her death that primarily questioned the norms of the modern German woman and their conformity to social standards of gender roles. Hoch’s 1933 photomontage, Die Braut (The Bride), is described as:
A bride illusion that explores race, by juxtapositioning a white woman’s neck and shoulders, with another woman’s lips with a non-Caucasian face. Lace is used to portray the illusion of a bridal veil. […]. Hoch creates an image where the viewer is unable to define the woman’s face clearly. (Lewis)
Like Hoch, I am concerned with the reception of the artwork and how it functions for the viewer. Although in the end, the viewer will receive the artwork from their personal perspective and I cannot anticipate every viewer’s agenda. But, since the art is digitally rendered. I anticipate that progressive viewers will comprehend my intent. And it is with the advancement of technology; the computer-age is allowing artist to digitally edit compositions that further push the boundaries of extreme realities, identities and content.
The final image that is created represents my visually constructed identity. This identity is a result of a psychological delusion, a delusion of grandeur that I experienced. The American Psychiatric Association’s handbook, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), describes a delusion as:
A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everybody else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary. The belief is not one ordinarily accepted by other members of the person's culture or subculture.
Furthermore, The New Oxford American Dictionary defines delusion of grandeur as the belief of exaggerated estimation of ones own status, personality, power, importance, knowledge, ability or identity. Delusional Identity: Self-portraits is a moment of my reality and are meant to broaden the visual communication for the viewer. The encounter with the final image breaks open a dimension that is otherwise inaccessible to anyone other than the person experiencing the psychosis. It is during the delusion that the human face no longer stands under the laws of the accepted reality principle and the photographs expose the impaired facial processing that occurs during the episode. Which leads the viewer through fragmented facial spaces, serving as a stimulus for the viewer to experience my reality of a delusional state of the psyche.
The series, Delusional Identity: Self-portraits are ten color photographs, orientated in a portrait layout, measuring 20 inches in width and 30 inches in height and were produced during 2005-2006. Each photograph shows a female in three quarter view with varying degrees of tonal value and distinct characteristics including: consistent hair color, eyebrow and eye clarity and lip contouring. These characteristics create a comprehension for the viewer in order to reveal a defined image that is juxtaposed with an illusion of another face. The juxtaposition forces the viewer’s eyes to oscillate back and forth between the two semi-transparent faces. And ultimately focus on a singular, distorted portrait.
The photograph, Self-portrait 4, is the representation of my delusion as the 1920’s film actress, Nita Naldi.  The overall background color is gray with hints of a fleshy-gold tone that is blurred and streaked in both a horizontal and vertical motion. The mid-ground includes the faint torso of a nude figure. This transparent silhouette begins as a tan flesh tone then shifts to a white-gray ghost. The background and mid-ground fluctuate in tonal values, from light tan to deep brown and pale gray to the darkest gray, which creates an image that is hidden yet defined. The foreground image is a nude, statuesque torso that is in frontal view that meets the viewer head-on. As if the viewer were looking in a mirror. This image is the prominent and most opaque figure. The torso’s starting point is at the nipple region of the chest and rises upward to the sloping shoulders and arms. Then it progresses upward from the neck to the oval face and finishes at the top of the head. The golden tint of the bustline curves with round shadows to outline the breasts with a slight blending of color that shapes a supple valley of cleavage, which intersects the elongated chest. The upper body is vertically extended and covers half the length of the print, while the neck, shoulders and arms are of normal proportion. Each arm is wrapped with a glowing serpent armband that slithers upward to the smooth bend of the armpit. It is this smooth arc that matches the curve of the shoulder and joins the slim neck. At the neck, a color shift begins to occur and a light mauve radiates upward and ends as a dark shadow that contours the pointed chin. The large face and hair consume the remaining vertical half of the print. The oval face glistens with pale ivory highlights and varying degrees of golden lowlights; surrounded by the white gray mid-ground image and the gray background. The contrasting facial colors create a defined image and an unclear-layered illusion of a woman’s face. The woman’s ears are adorned with huge gold and topaz beaded bangle earrings. Each earring is semi-transparent and blurred, as if in motion yet stagnant. The fuchsia tinted lips lay atop another pair of gray lips. The (mis) alignment enlarges the volume of the lips and the horizontal repositioning both lengthens and shortens the entire lips. In other words, the lips are stylized to look stretched and puckered and are in a relaxed position. The cupid’s bow of the upper lip is attached to the vertical columns that attaches to the nose. The slender nose veils a split, asymmetrical nose with multiple nasal openings. The nose extends upward and tapers between the fluttering, undisturbed, green eyes. The eyes are lined with a kohl black on the upper and lower lids and stares back at the viewer with an element of the gaze that is unflinching, yet distant and lifeless. The right eye is aligned with another eye and the translucent overlay only hints at two tear ducts. Just above these eyes is a full, natural eyebrow. In contrast, the left eye is actually two distinct eyes; one is a pale green with a noticeable lethargic gaze and is superimposed on a brighter, wide-set, blue green eye. This second eye with its extensive black lashes and lilac shadow across the eyelid forces the semi-closed eye to mimic a wink action. Resting atop the winking eye are two separate eyebrows; one brow is identical to the above-mentioned brow, full and natural while the second brow is a thin, curved line of dark purple. That extends above and beyond the natural brow. The eyebrows rest on the brow bone and the forehead rise up to the hairline, where the hair color is ash brown from the temples down and black cherry from the temples up. The ash colored hair is styled tight to the head, but on the right side the hair darkens to an off black color and flows downward and forward as if being blown from behind. While the black cherry colored hair that is on the top of the skull flows up and off the head in a blurry wave. 
I ultimately want the viewer to slowly engage with the photographs from a distance of twenty feet and move toward the work straight on. Approaching the work from a distance entitles the viewer to receive a singular image but upon closer contact, the image transforms into a multi-layered portrait and commands the gaze from the viewer. The unpredictable facial spaces and fragmentation represent the reality of a delusional person to cause the viewer to reconsider the genre of self-portraiture as well as the content of the photograph. Furthermore, the photographs move the viewer through a psychological journey to encounter visions of transient vanity, haunting thoughts, sad dusky spirits and secret golden truths.

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